20 teachings and words of wisdom from my Croatian grandfathers

by croatiaweek
November 27, 2023
in Entertainment

My grandfather Ivo (Photo: Private album)

By Natalie Franćeska

Grandparents can leave behind a legacy that not only their grandchildren will value and carry with them, but also shape and impact the generations that follow.

This legacy is one in which I shared with others through my first children’s book My Grandma is Like the Sea, and have continued to do so with my latest release, My Grandpa is Like the Sea. Both books being a living expression of love with the hope to bring generations together, past and present.

My grandfathers had a profound impact on my life, that impact still weaving its way through my being to this present day, and in turn into that of my children.

Me as a child in Pupnatska Luka on the island of Korčula (Photo: Private album)

My late grandfather Nikola was born on the island of Korčula, from the quaint, picturesque village of Pupnat. My late grandfather Ivo was born in Mali Ston, home to the internationally acclaimed Ostrea Edulis Oyster, in the Dubrovnik-Neretva region.

Grandpa Ivo is second from right on Stradun in Dubrovnik (Photo: Private album)

Both grandfathers left their place of birth in the 1960s to establish a new way of life in Sydney, Australia, prior to bringing over their wives and children.

My Grandpas taught me through their very existence and life story about resilience. Dide Nikola tragically lost his father as a five year old, which saw him stepping into the ‘father’ role and providing for his mother and sister whilst still a child himself. My Đedo Ivo would often share moments of despair, grit and perseverance upon arriving to Australia as a migrant, knowing no English.

My grandfather Ivo (Photo: Private album)

This has been translated from my Đedo Ivo’s native tongue, Croatian with respect to a moment in time at work in Australia before bringing over his wife and children to join him.

‘My Natalie… when it was morning tea I would move away from my work mate; I wouldn’t eat. Instead, I would go and sit by the bay, where there was some bush, not a big bush, and cry… I would cry every day. I would say to myself, imagine Mljet in the distance and here’s me, Ivo, swimming towards it. I would’ve swam to the island Mljet if only it was there in the near distance… but of course, Australia was so far away. I cried for so long… and when I would arrive home, I was thankful to get some sleep… that’s what saved me.’

My grandfather Nikola and grandfather Ivo’s resilience, connection to the Adriatic Sea and love served as pillars of inspiration when writing My Grandpa is Like the Sea. A story centred around exploration, adventure, and belonging… and as is found in the title, a grandpa who is like the sea! But what happens when Grandpa and grandson get lost at sea?

My grandfather Nikola (Photo: Private album)

For those of you who have also had or have a grandparent dear to you, ancestor or person of great influence, these 20 teachings and words of wisdom from my late grandfathers may bring a sense of belonging to you… or at least, a message that you may have needed to hear.

1. ’Stavi prst u more i bit ćeš povezan s cijelim svijetom.’ Place your finger in the sea and you will be connected to the whole world.

2. ‘Uzmi kako ti Bog da.’ Take what God gives you.

3. ‘Ali si se rodi u barku?’ Were you born in a fishing boat? Used light-heartedly when something that requires ‘common sense’ was not done, like closing a door after entering someone’s home.

4. ‘Ali si falila put!’ Instead of ‘nisi falila put!’ Used in a playful manner, when one finds their way to their destination.

5. ‘U svakom mistu treba imati prijatelje. Ako imaš prijatelja u drugom gradu, onda imaš i drugi dom.’ This was passed on to my Dide Nikola from his mother, and translates to the following, ‘you must have a friend in all places. If you have a friend in another town/city, then you have a second home.’

My great grandfather pictured here in Mali Ston (Photo: Private album)

6. ‘Svatko svoje.’ Each to their own.

7. ‘Dobar kao kruh.’ As good as bread. This symbolises someone who is good, or in Croatian ‘dobrotu domaćina.’

8. When is it the worst time to fish? That is, kad je najgore vrijeme za lovit? The teaching goes as follows, ‘kad je tonda, nije dobro za ribat.’ When it’s a full moon it’s best to skip going fishing. Tonda means pun mjesec or full moon according to the local lingo in the Dubrovnik-Neretva region.

9. Some tips from a bygone pre-tech era for when working on the land… ‘Znali su po tome kako je sunce zalazilo koja je ura za krenuti pješke doma iz polja.’ Translated as, they knew the time to walk back home from the fields by the way the sun had fallen.

10. ‘Bez muke nema nauke.’ Without hardship, there is no knowledge.

11. ‘Kruh je to sa sedam kora.’ Or, ‘da je navegavat ili bit pomorac kruh sa 7 kora.’ This proverb symbolises difficult jobs, often relevant to those who have to live and work away from one’s homeland. In this instance, in earlier times, to be a seafarer was a very challenging profession, where many would not return home for months on end.

My father Damir as a child in Croatia (Photo: Private album)

12. ‘Ali si se probudio na ljevu nogu?’ Did you wake up on your left leg? Mostly used to lighten things up when someone is in a sour mood.

13. ’Dok je kruha, nije gladi.’ When there’s bread, there’s no hunger.

14. A reflection on the quality of wine when growing up, shared with me by my Dide Nikola. ‘Ne bi stavili cukar u vino! Nije bilo preservatives. Nije ni bilo cukar!’ That is, ‘we wouldn’t put sugar in wine. There wasn’t any preservatives. There wasn’t even sugar!’

Me with my brother and grandfather Ivo in Mali Ston Bay (Photo: Private album)

15. ‘Pusta pjesma!’ An expression used whenever my grandfather wanted to rejoice.

16. ‘Bolje loša žetva nego loš susjed.’ Better a bad harvest than a bad neighbour.

17. ‘Uljudne riječi otvaraju željezna vrata.’ Polite words open iron gates.

My Grandpa is Like the Sea (Photo: Private album)

18. ‘Suh kao bakalar.’ Dry like bakalar.

19. ‘That’s life!’ A phrase used to apply to any circumstance in life, as a way of surrendering.

20. ‘Koliko dura, dura.’ How long it lasts, it lasts.

Now for an extra bonus saying to wrap it up!
Bonus: ‘Finili su Mare bali.’ The dances are finished, Mare. In other words, the good times have come to an end, or the good times are history.

As mentioned in my earlier article https://www.croatiaweek.com/20-teachings-and-words-of-wisdom-from-my-croatian-grandmothers/ if your grandparents are still around, try and make the most of your time with them. If not, and if you have some sort of recollection of your grandparents, remember to hold them close to your heart.